tea┬áHere’s the 411 on my recent job adventure. I technically don’t start until December and here’s why.

I had plans to go to the Philippines to get all of my four wisdom teeth taken out. Due to the small arch of my jaw, I’m not able to keep them without completely ruining my jaw. It’s already to the point of creaking and making cracking/popping sounds whenever I open my mouth. My family was hoping to wait for them to come out first (which was highly against my dentist’s wishes) because it’s cheaper to pull them out than to surgically take them out. Unfortunately, they’re there but not out. So, Philippines was our fail safe.

If you follow current news, you’ll know how crazy it is there right now and just how bad the relationship is between USA and the Philippines.

My mom’s definitely thinking twice of going. For me, anything is better than the constant pain. Though I’ve gotten so used to the pain, my doctor says I have such a high pain tolerance, she wonders if I can even feel it (in regards to all pain). Continue reading

Poem 94

this kind heart

i was built angry

and filled with cruelty.

there was innocence

and sweetness to my every being.

there were four strong walls

and a useful door

that anyone could knock on.

there was no entry fee.

one picked the lock.

another stole the knob entirely.

there were hinges there before

and once the door collapsed,

the four walls became useless.

this kind heart

had to be shielded.

Continue reading

little black book

This is a running thought.

When I was in middle school, I had a difficult time getting along with people. No. Scratch that. I had a difficult time being myself and befriending others. Instead, I wore everyone else’s skin.

It’s not a lie that it was all me. It was all me. Though at the same time, it wasn’t.

While we’re travelling through this lifetime, across our own worlds where the main character is ourselves, we tend to dress up. We play house. We play cops and robbers. We play and dress like pirates because ARGH! anyone else’s life is better than ours. I dressed up like the perfect child. Then a troubled kid who spouted profanities left and right. I was an athlete. I was a smart kid. I rebelled. I geeked out. I was also a nerd.

All these characters we dress up as, that’s all us. That’s still who we are but beneath the dressing up, there’s also a part of us who isn’t any of those.

Continue reading