Ever since the beginning of this year, I have been unable to put aside the thought of “friendship” and its meaning. So, I went ahead and looked it up at Dictionary [dot] Reference [dot] com so that I could post it up here. It’s not important to show you, I just wish to show it.
friend·ship /ˈfrɛndʃɪp/ [frend-ship] noun
1. the state of being a friend; association as friends: to value a person’s friendship.
2. a friendly relation or intimacy.
3. friendly feeling or disposition.
The quote that I used for the title of the blog was from an old friend of mine. It was one of the things he had said to me out of spite and after a certain event had occured. He and a close friend of mine, an older sister figure, broke up and he had blamed me for it. We haven’t been in contact for two years and that includes friends we had in common. My best friend also happens to be his best friend and his ex-girlfriend’s.
Our friendship is just a mess now. It’s difficult to piece together again.
When I remember him, I always find myself crying and wishing even though those words echo in my mind. I still value him and that’s why I always remember his words so clearly in my head.
To remember his presence and influence in my life is difficult and helpful at the same time. I sometimes cry for nights on end because I miss him. Even though I’ve come to terms with the fact that he won’t ever look my way, and won’t ever be the Ryan I knew, my big brother, I still think about it. I can’t not think of him because then I would be doing the same thing he was which is forgetting. I value him and the friendship we had.
Ever since losing him and consequently my other friends, I’ve come to really treasure other people and the friends I still have. I’ve learned to opened up myself for both love and pain. I’m still learning to not fear, but I’m hoping for the best. I have three close friends that I treat like sisters. I cherish them and wouldn’t know what I would do without them. I’d be lost without their guidance and support.
Friendship is a treasure.
This is twin with the poem, Bitter.