That Certain Quarter

When I was much younger than now (because I just aged another year as of today), I never thought I’d get so far as 22. I always found my early 20’s to become my problematic years. I was seriously depressed, definitely when I was in  my teen years. I cut a lot, I was anorexic and oh so unhealthy mentally, physically and emotionally. I was a troubled child, but to the eyes of many, I was a-okay.

I cried a lot in private back then as well. I had pent up anger, anxieties, sadness and even happiness. Not only did I keep those feelings to myself in fear of what other people might say, I also did it out of pride. I never want to show how vulnerable I can get.  I am a very independent person out of fear. Definitely. I mean, that has changed now, but there’s still a part of me that believes in inner strength, and that if I persevere, I can do anything on my own.

Anyway, the year before has taught so many things and 22 is quite a private milestone for me, as will 24. If I reach the age of 24, I will be very proud of myself. I always believed that I would die at that age. Now, I see my life developing and I see the possibility of aging- growing old like my grandparents and my parents.

I think, my seeing that is a testament.

So, on my 25th Birthday, I will definitely reward myself at the milestones that I have surpassed. It’s a self revelation that not many would probably understand, but it’s something that I’ve been realizing more and more. I am so proud of myself and the growth that I have gone through. I’m going to continue loving myself more because it’s the right thing and I never ever wish to go back to my teen years. I may regret some things from back then, but without that I would never have the happiness that I have achieved now.

 

I’m hoping that friends, acquaintances, and families would celebrate with me on that day- when it arrives.

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