how to love
they told me there’s a time and place for everything.
that i should wait for the right moment
instead of jumping the gun. in movies
like the little mermaid,
didn’t ariel chase after her eric as best she could,
is what i would have said back at them,
but i couldn’t find my courage.
i grew up like those ladies in the 19th century
where being 22 seemed like an old maid.
where women feared being single for too long,
for not having any prospect of any sort.
even the ugliest of men, they would say,
should be attracted to me.
how did i manage a single life
back then with this self-pity
carving bits of my heart away?
being single was my trophy and i showed it to the world.
but now that i think about it,
i should have tried it when i was younger.
i should have let myself experience
i don’t even know
how to love.