It’s often a struggle to get up. Just thinking of the dragging day and the possibility of another day, of the next day, is dreadful to me. Everyday becomes even more difficult to cope with. And people become epitomes of annoyance and irritance. The bigger problem is, they probably are not the ones at fault, but I can’t see anything, but the anger lit up at the back of my head.
Everyone around me feels as if they’ve got everything under control and the slight off chance that they don’t brings hope to me. That’s sad. The pain of others is my ray of hope.
I often end up hating people more than my average annoyance meter lets me. Mostly, I will feel guilty. I will feel guilty for taking my self frustrations out on people.
When I’m not hating, I’m either pretending to be okay or just quiet. Which in both cases prompts everyone around me to worry which then leads to the anger. Amd it’s all just a vicious cycle where I can never find the peace that I’d like to have.
Everywhere I go, it’s annoyingly loud and crowded, but nothing is serenely deafening. Nothing is good.