The Last Five Years
Watched this last night…
No picture of the movie. It was heartbreaking and a love that I could never ever even imagine to fight for. Therefore, no picture.
It was actually a musical turned into film. I would love to watch the musical if ever I could. I don’t really know much about it, but it would be nice to see it in a different medium.
This film broke the heart of a future me.
I’m not sure how to explain it. Only, I wasn’t hurt for me. I was hurt from relating to her and from thinking, what if, a hurricane of a love like that were to come knocking me down?
I always thought to fear love. That’s ingrained in me.
And I was scared even more after watching that. It’s scary to think that you could fall in love with someone for a long time or short and still, nothing is forever.
I’ve never had good role models when it came to romantic love. Everyone around me has told me that love is worth nothing next to all the other worries. I don’t even know how to love someone else. How to share my life with another. All the adults will tell me, love is worth nothing. Love will only bring you headaches and rushed judgments. Nothing can come of it. Nothing.
For a while now, I have been thinking that I was ready to open up to someone. That I could share my struggles, and his struggles. But it’s so scary.
I’d always known that.
Yet, I feel so afraid. More than I was before to step out.
edit author’s note. sister post: he has brown eyes