my dream

I’m writing and writing. I hold my world in my hands but what do I do with it?


As my previous post already discussed, I’ve finished writing Are You Listening? This is Georgiana. It’s come an incredibly long way from angsty seventeen-year-old Academy student Rheanne Andrews to depressed twenty-four-year-old unemployed Georgiana Mendoza. Lol. There was a bit of a spoiler there but we all know I’m Georgiana (but Georgiana is not me!)

I’m debating what to do with my novel.

I’ve done the writing. CHECK.

I’ve done my bits of editing. CHECK.

I’d really like a professional to do the editing. When I say professional I really mean anyone other than myself. It’d be wonderful to receive feedback on my writing from people who aren’t my friends. Another lol. What I truly mean is I’d like some grammar editing. I’d like someone to tell me if I portrayed the issue well enough. Did you cry at this part like I did? Were you just as touched as I was? Did you get attached? How well or badly did I create my characters? Does it feel real?

When friends read, I can only ask, “is it good?”

I’m obviously lacking in the friendship-communication area despite having friends and I’m not all that keen for my family to read the manuscript—book just yet. I’d like to finish the second; it’ll be long ways from now. I wonder if it’ll be another decade… Let’s hope not.

I’ve entertained Wattpad.

Oh fellow writers, what should I do?

I’ve thought about self-publishing.

Ahhh… for now, I’m reading and reading articles (again) on what to do but even as I grow as a person, learning to better deal with my demons, I’ve yet to change this indecisiveness.

In the past, I used to dream of having this particular novel published. As lovely as that would be, the most important part about writing Georgiana’s story is writing it. I’ve released many regrets in this first novel. I feel much lighter without those thoughts plaguing my mind. The next important thing about writing the story is for the important people in my lives to read this novel. Friends and family, I based my characters on, I want them to read the details of my struggles, to understand where the anger that consumed me grew from, and how sorry I am for the missed chances in my life. The things I wrote in my blogs, they’re all in the novel in detail. They’re there written out like a confession to anyone willing to listen. I want them to know, I wanted to learn how to be loved.

What’s the best platform to display my longest confession?

My Le Voyage has taken me far, hasn’t it? I never imagined being able to finish my novel to be completely honest. The story changed quite a lot (obviously because I changed but still).

When I started the story, I didn’t even know that I was the main character. It was going to be equally about everyone in my life but then “my” comes up a lot, doesn’t it. When I realized that part, I began to focus more as to why I was writing it in the first place.

I’m still unsure about some details about Georgiana—if they’re important— because to me those details play a part but did I convey their importance well enough?

I don’t know. So, that’s why I need a reader. Lol. Where to get them though?

Ahh, going in circles, are we?


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