why do i bother?

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I always do this thing where I debate about a choice and in my indecision, I rant. Then after ranting about it, I make a choice anyway.

Is that a normal human thing?

Am I only ever looking to have a sound board? *sigh*

I had a long yesterday. I didn’t sleep Monday night and was awake until Tuesday afternoon. It was a long day spent curled in my computer chair with cramps and cravings. I only felt tired the moment I stopped thinking and working.

That’s probably not normal. After waking up, I ate a lot. I felt like a black hole sucking up all the food in the kitchen. That’s also probably a bad thing… huh… Yesterday was so not healthy.


In the end, I posted Are You Listening? This is Georgiana. on Wattpad despite the whole “I don’t know what to do next” spiel. *screams with anxiety* What if no one reads it? What if someone reads it? It’s not like my blogs. It’s my first novel. My first! Oh no. If you’re into my blogs, I think you’ll really like the novel. Please try it out when you can and leave me a comment. It’d be cool to see readers from here crossing over to a different platform. Idk, is that just me?

I did think of posting it here on my blog but I’m really taken by the book format view of Wattpad. It’s also easy to navigate around and the forums give well-written in-depth instructions on how to go around the social media.

I do hope it all works out somehow.

When I first started writing the story, I was what… fifteen? sixteen? It’s been a really long time and literally a decade later right! The story started with a teenager in an overbearing private academy somewhere in Canterbury, England because well, why not? Rheanne Andrews had everything. She was respected, loved, and trusted but none of those mattered to her. She lived under the shadows of her siblings and threatened by the genius that is her brother.

I1t was full of angsty-teenagery drama and I didn’t know where it would end. I had no idea what I was doing with Rheanne. She was all over the place and she had no goal. She just wanted to run away.

With Georgiana Mendoza, I skip all that angsty-teenagery drama and go into the need to run away. I have her run away. The story begins with her admitting she’s a runaway. (Though she doesn’t actually say, “I’ve run away.” Subtly more coughnotreallycough I repeat that she’s twenty-three when it all ends and begins.) Even though she goes on to recall all of her teenage memories, it’s mostly about a girl thirsting for a more fulfilled life.

I truly hope that comes across to the readers.

As it is, the journey I have Georgiana Mendoza takes mimics my own very well. Mostly, the changes in the story are due to my own revelations. And these revelations are what I want to truly share not only for you guys but to others as well hence the book.

So, if you have the interest or time, please check out my beloved first novel about a girl suffering from bouts of anxiety and depression to a point her illness interrupts the flow of her life.

Book Cover

click image for the story


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