It’s such a rush of old feelings— not in a bad way per se but it does come as a shock to me, somewhat, how much I used to lie to people because I couldn’t come to terms with my reality which was I was unable to stay in school.
The emails make me cringe because I haven’t lied to people in two years, yeah know, the two years I’ve been in my self-healing journey.
The old me is hard to recall, embarrassing and an overall not so good memory. The upside is, I can also see the good sides. I’ve definitely changed for the better and my life feels more fulfilled than it had before. Though monetary wise, I can’t say I’m any better, emotionally and mentally I am more whole as a person than I ever was.
It’s a little weird looking at the “me” two years prior but I’m happy to see that I have indeed taken the right path for me. This can definitely be seen in my art these days.
Depression was such a big hindrance to me and even though I used it to fuel my art, I just wasn’t ever quite happy with myself then. I have more motivation to learn and improve these days. I think that in itself is the testament to just how much I’ve grown as a person.
I’m generally happier with life. Yeah, some days can be really tough and I do find myself spiraling sometimes but I can also pick myself back up which I couldn’t do before.
I guess you could say, tasting happiness helps. Lol.
So far, my endeavors, though bearing very little to no fruit monetary wise, it’s given me a lot of inspiration and I’m more eager to get myself out there. I’m not as afraid of showing myself to the world compared to before. I don’t hide my face. I don’t hide my feelings. They’re not out there in the open all the time but I am out there.
That definitely beats crawling in my little hole of a world. Don’t ya think?