february ain’t so lovely

I’ve been running my art “business” since the year began. It hasn’t been that long but I’ve certainly had my ups and downs since the first of January.

ko-fiI’ve come across a fair amount of hiccups for one starting out a small business/debuting as a freelancer… however you’d like to see this venture.

They’ve varied quite a bit from a laptop no longer able to take my constant load of work to the feng shui of my room/office. It’s all getting to me.

So let’s begin with what had to be done about my laptop.

He needed to get rebooted for one but not before I was able to transfer all my files out which did pose a great problem. I didn’t have enough storage space in my eight-year-old external hard drive. The good thing about it though is that I’ve actually been making money at this time. I dodged the bullet. I bought another WD hard drive. Moved all my stuff… but what am I going to work with now? Thankfully, my supportive sister offered to invest in my art. Okay, cool. Got a new equipment specifically for my art needs. Awesome. But then my drafting table became too short in length and too wide for actual workspace. I couldn’t maneuver around the desk. It was a disaster. Within a week, I felt cramped, overstuffed, and overwhelmed.

Then suddenly, I felt like I owned too many clothes, had too big of a twin-sized bed, too many books (OMG!), too many art supplies and just TOO MANY STUFF. I couldn’t take it. I lost the energy to work. Everything was just overcrowding me. I felt like suffocating.

So what did I do next?

I decided to clean the heck out of my room. Cleaned the hallway storage first, transferred all sewing and crafting OUT of my room because I  hadn’t touched them in half a year. Took out art supplies I’d put in storage because the crafting stuff had taken its place previously. I boxed my books (OMG!) and haven’t taken them out. Things in my room got moved around. One of the things I couldn’t do much about was my fish. They had to stay where they were. Couldn’t add draining a tank 80% and move them around. Didn’t want to add to the mess I’d already wrecked havoc in my room.

I threw away a lot of things I hoarded for the “what if I do this project”. My room is definitely 30% emptier BUT it still feels uninspiring. My desk is still too small and my bed too big. For some reason, nothing was solved. I still feel like I can’t draw.

Thankfully, I’ve dealt with the business side of my work. Filed important paperwork and cataloged certain sales. In that aspect of my work, I was on point but ugh, with my room in such a shamble, I feel like my mind is physically manifesting itself.

It’s extremely overwhelming and I’ve been dealing with it for two or three weeks now? The entirety of my February is just a mess. I’ve gone and asked my sister to help me decide if I should trade in my drafting table for a lengthier one. At some point, I’d like to have space for both digital work and traditional work because I honestly want to get back to my roots but I can’t when my desk is 75% my old laptop (which I use for business-y things) and my computer drawing tablet (for drawing). And the rest of 25% is for the art supplies that I can’t even use. The only reason they’re even out is that I don’t have any other place for them and also because that area of the desk is useless since I can barely reach it.

I’m just pull-my-hair-out tired.

To add to this torture, I’ve also (like I said before) been dealing with the business side of my art. It’s been difficult money wise. I want income from my dream job but to get income, I gotta put money in it first. Obviously, this is how all businesses work. It’s just another thing I’m constantly juggling. Seriously just want to retreat away from life at this point but I won’t. I’m figuring things out and preferably sooner, will get to the answer.

Let’s not forget, my sister’s also getting married and I have YET to do her invites. TOO MUCH LIFE, save me.

Thanks for reading all the way here. Have a wonderful…day/night. 🙂


3 thoughts on “february ain’t so lovely

  1. You’ll never get everything right in you space so put that energy into your work. Have a plan, but eat the space elephant one bite at a time. Starting out it’s more about delivering product… The space will come. Focus your creative forces on your product, ignore the distractions, they are testing you …

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