there’s no plan

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I’m possibly moving my blog… uhh that’s a bit scary to say. The truth is, I’d like to incorporate more of my true self/ blogging self with my art. So, I’d like to post my poetry and short stories with my art. At the same time, it doesn’t sound that wise of a move. People who like my writing may not like my art or vice versa. So… upon thinking more about it, what I truly would like to get into is collecting all my wordpress work and reworking it with my art blog.

My art blog? I’m currently working through it. I don’t have it done. I’ve purged all the original stuff that were on it so that I could start from scratch. I’m debating how to format it that I 1. won’t get tired of the design, 2. easily understood by newcomers, and thirdly has to be able to present my art and writing beautifully or at least doesn’t take away from the work. Continue reading

Poem 97

what is hello?

Hi. Hello. Salut! How are you?
Simple words for a simple answer, for a quick reminder that I am here.

I only wanted to be seen, I suppose.

To be heard.

I dreamed I jumped and never fell, the beauty of fantasy. There you waited to catch my fall but I never came down, let’s be glad about that.

In sleep you were present, perfect attendance.

You smiled. You waved. You said hi, hello. How are you? It’s the beauty of fantasy.

le voyage

I’m trying to remedy a lot of my anxiety and bouts of depression in ways I enjoy. I liked my antidepressant that I had taken over the course of last year but find that I’m slowly wanting to ween off pills. In time, I’d also like to solve my Midol need.

Mostly, the journey will be about depression. I’ll try my best to record how I’m doing and what I’m doing. I know I’ve been missing every so often. I’d really love to get back to writing and painting again.  Continue reading

la vie. life. buhay.

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Not my betta but similar to mine.

Say the word in as many languages as you can, it’s all going to be the same. Life will always be what it is may it be difficult or easy is dependent on the person in question.

I’m not entirely sure if I’ve introduced my betta yet but I now own a betta fish/ siamese fighting fish named Pudge Juan or PJ for short. I also owned six stalks of bacopas. It’s in past tense because most have died and two are striving to live. I just have a black thumb. I mean, look at what happened to my zivas. They bloomed, yes, but ultimately my laziness got the better of them. I still have four remaining bulbs out of six but forcing them to grow indoors really took a toll on them, I think. Whereas the bacopas just totally fell apart on me and it wasn’t out of laziness. I couldn’t meet all the conditions for the plant and by the time that I was able to, they were already far gone. I’m hoping the last two will fight on with me but I doubt it. Laziness amongst other things have come between me and PJ’s environment clean up/uptake… maintenance.

PJ is thankfully reaching his three months with me. I suspect he’s already near or past 1yr of age. He’s kind of blind and his tail seemed to have been decaying the first hour he was brought to me. He’s gotten way less lethargic than when I first met him so that makes me happy. Continue reading

little by little

…certain traditions, rituals or ‘the usual’ change.

In life, that’s to be expected but I’ve never been one for obvious change. I’m not very good at adapting. Some people may say, ‘no, you can do it when you put your mind to it’ but there have been many changes in my life, though I live with those changes, I am unable to accept.

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i don’t like changes.

Continue reading