sleepless not in seattle

… because I simply don’t live in Seattle.

I’d just like to begin by saying, I’ve been grabbing photographs from tumblr for a while now… but more recently, I’ve been grabbing photographs…

*falls to the ground and bows* I’m sorry for just taking someone else’s work without permission. Plus, my credits page isn’t even showing up. *sighs* Please don’t be like me. Credit the artist.

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Can I even use this gif? I don’t know…

I’ll be sure to be more supportive of other artists in the future. *bows again*

For the past week it’s been a lot of apologizing, more to myself than out loud. I’ve been in a state of blankness? Everything looks and feels dull. It’s been raining but I don’t feel motivated to do anything. I’m usually uplifted when it’s raining. It makes me feel like the world is supporting me, washing away yesterday as they say. That hasn’t been the case. I would like to appreciate the rain. I try to get up in the morning but I’m too tired to even open my eyes. I haven’t been sleeping well.

Continue reading

declutter

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I just have too much stuff. I could say that they’re all important in my work and life but are they? I don’t have enough storage in my room and reluctant to buy storage. I have old journals and sketchbooks lying everywhere. There are boxes filled with crafting supplies and simple empty boxes to be crafted into something useful. Yet, those crafting supplies can’t help with crafting the empty boxes into useful storage.

I have too much stuff! I have essays and short stories from high school stuffed into binders inside makeshift bookshelves. I have reference books I don’t flip through frequently enough. There is a mountain of novels and comics sitting around that I may read occasionally. My canvases are leaned against a wall, my drawing table, and stuffed inside boxes in my closet just waiting to be used.

My computer chair is stacked high with clothes. There are bottles of paint in a black bag in my closet but the titanium whites are sitting with my sewing machine along with unboxed straight pins and an empty easel on the coffee table.   Continue reading

slow and steady

tumblr_of69skejpr1r2rgtao1_500“Life’s not as simple as a race to a finish line.”

It’s not about being the tortoise or the hare or whatever else animal you’d like to compare yourself too. You can be a cheetah for all I care and I a robin. It doesn’t change that I still believe there’s more to life than just the finish line… the finish line that is what, exactly?

Wouldn’t it be death.

I didn’t get to say this before but I’ve had a professional talk to me in the past month. My session is nearing an end on the 9th of this month, so I wanted to talk about some of the things I’d come to confess to her. Continue reading

he’s gotta love Jane

tumblr_oclbjom4sj1spwrcco1_500Who I am… what I am has been greatly shaped by the writings of Jane Austen. It’s only natural that I feel a connection with Austen that must be understood even at a low level by the person who will call himself my better half.

There are fandoms and addictions, then there’s Jane Austen’s words.

Why do I even mention this?

Horoscopes. I’m extremely feeling positive about love recently and my horoscopes haven’t calmed the optimism in me one bit. Rather, it’s fed the fires with more kindling. I always find it interesting how my perception of love evolves with time.

I used to be quite a hopeless romantic growing up. I’m sure I’ve retained some of that hopelessness through the years. Though that may be true, there’s also this beautiful realistic outlook I have with falling in love. Continue reading

stars align

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Listen to the song. I promise it’s worth the while as you read.

Like promised, I’ve returned to talk a little about horoscopes and just what about them is so important for me.

As regularly as I can, I read tarot cards. I’ve been practicing since around 2011 and have since incorporated it in my life. To some people reading cards is evil or a real contradictory to going to church.

I’m first and foremost a spiritualist. Though I believe in God and was born a Catholic, I don’t consider myself a devout Catholic. I haven’t been one since I was in high school, definitely before tarots came into the picture. Unless you consider Card Captors as an influence, otherwise, let’s move on.

I don’t consider things like tarots, palm reading, or lighting candles as black magic. If you must consider them as magic, I’d categorize mine in the white magic area. Honestly though, no magic happening here. As for horoscopes and superstitions, I like to categorize them all in the same area.

Moving on…

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Aquarius: Monachopsis– The subtle but persistent feeling of being out of place.”

You may not have known, but I’m an Aquarius as well as Metal Sheep.

More than Chinese Horoscopes, I love looking at astrology from my sign to the alignments of the planets. For me, it’s always fascinating to read about how the galaxy affects me, an insignificant cog in the wheel of life.

I’ve always found it to be on point and easily relatable in my life. So, I’ve not questioned the logic behind it. Ever. I don’t think I ever want to.

I don’t find myself living with limitations because of my horoscopes. The important part with reading horoscopes is that you don’t let it lead your life. Not everything is written in the stars. Stars are ever growing—bigger or smaller—and are therefore ever changing. Our futures, who we’re going to be,  it’ll also keep changing.

I truly believe that we write our own stories. Continue reading