why do i bother?

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I always do this thing where I debate about a choice and in my indecision, I rant. Then after ranting about it, I make a choice anyway.

Is that a normal human thing?

Am I only ever looking to have a sound board? *sigh*

I had a long yesterday. I didn’t sleep Monday night and was awake until Tuesday afternoon. It was a long day spent curled in my computer chair with cramps and cravings. I only felt tired the moment I stopped thinking and working.

That’s probably not normal. After waking up, I ate a lot. I felt like a black hole sucking up all the food in the kitchen. That’s also probably a bad thing… huh… Yesterday was so not healthy.

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In the end, I posted Are You Listening? This is Georgiana. on Wattpad despite the whole “I don’t know what to do next” spiel. *screams with anxiety* What if no one reads it? What if someone reads it? It’s not like my blogs. It’s my first novel. My first! Oh no. If you’re into my blogs, I think you’ll really like the novel. Please try it out when you can and leave me a comment. It’d be cool to see readers from here crossing over to a different platform. Idk, is that just me?

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my dream

I’m writing and writing. I hold my world in my hands but what do I do with it?

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As my previous post already discussed, I’ve finished writing Are You Listening? This is Georgiana. It’s come an incredibly long way from angsty seventeen-year-old Academy student Rheanne Andrews to depressed twenty-four-year-old unemployed Georgiana Mendoza. Lol. There was a bit of a spoiler there but we all know I’m Georgiana (but Georgiana is not me!)

I’m debating what to do with my novel.

I’ve done the writing. CHECK.

I’ve done my bits of editing. CHECK.

I’d really like a professional to do the editing. When I say professional I really mean anyone other than myself. It’d be wonderful to receive feedback on my writing from people who aren’t my friends. Another lol. What I truly mean is I’d like some grammar editing. I’d like someone to tell me if I portrayed the issue well enough. Did you cry at this part like I did? Were you just as touched as I was? Did you get attached? How well or badly did I create my characters? Does it feel real?

When friends read, I can only ask, “is it good?”

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I finished, now what?

georgianaI’ve spent over a decade of my life with Georgiana Mendoza, who used to be Rheanne Andrews. This story inspired by the real events of my life has finally come to its ending—sort of. I recently finished the first installment of Georgiana’s life struggles.

I finished, now what?

I’m not really sure where to go from here. I’d like to edit the book and add some details I may have over looked while in my writing process but what do I do after that?

I’d like to have it published and that’s going to take some researching, isn’t it? I’d also obviously like another set of eyes for it… I’m thinking of getting into contact with a close friend who graduated with an English degree. Is that wise?

One of the things I decided on about this book was to not publish under my real name because it’s so drastically different from my art, which is semi-bubbly and cute whereas this book is sort of dark and heavy.

I’d also like to make an official cover… something similar to what I have now but legally mine, so to speak.

I wonder if it’ll be well received… well, I’m not there yet. No need to think of that just yet… right?

Poem 99

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” i ”

i
can hear the words,
promises made
to me from you.

i
can see your unfailing effort
beyond mistakes
of your everyday.

i
can smell the fragrant
bouquets of flowers
you freshly picked.

i
can taste the bittersweet
of your daily
good mornings and good nights.

i love you.
Basically.

velajune 2017 / dearphil.anne (below)

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Dropping by

with a bit of news.

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Buy Me a Coffee at ko-fi.com

I’ve got a lot of things I’m doing and finally feeling as if something is truly brewing in my pot of ideas and plans. So, if you like my art, please think of supporting me in my endeavor. I know WordPress is my writing platform but I do have my chapbook in the works with new art I’m doing for it. Plus this is also where I talk about everything. So, I thought it was still quite fit to advertise myself.

Be sure to follow me @dearphil.anne for short poetries, rants, and photographs on Instagram.

Seriously, things are feeling pretty good. I hope I didn’t just jynx myself.

Have a wonderful Thursday. I’m flying to the Philippines tonight so expect more writing! By the way, how’s Georgiana? Well, since you didn’t ask, lol, I’m on my eighth chapter and working steadily as possible. I’m truly excited to finish my not-so-biography-but-more-like-creative-non-fiction-to-fiction novel. xD

And check out my latest poem: this is 25. I’m almost at Poem 100, crazy!

 

Ps. I don’t drink coffee but tea is yummy!